Bartleby Finkleton Will Not Take a Bath

Bartleby Finkleton he'll leave a stink upon
Any little thing that he ever puts his finger on
He's the dirtiest kid you've ever met
'Cause Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath

Mold in his armpits, mud up his nose
Some kinda slime growing in between his toes
He's always got enough food stuck upon his face
That he could feed a army for 25 days

He hasn't even seen a tub in 4 or 5 years
He's got a patch of mushrooms growing in his ears
He's got so much dirt that if he ever took a bath
There might not be anything left

He smells like a dead fish
Stuffed with rotten eggs
Wrapped in a dirty diaper
Rolled in a garbage can
Dipped in sour milk
With a skunk on top
 All shoved in an old sweaty gym sock

Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath
He doesn't even know just where the soap is at
He's not going to bathe, so do not even ask
Because Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath

Bartleby went down to the dump one day
They said he was too filthy and they turned him away
Bugs in his teeth,  he smells like a goat
He hasn't changed his clothes since the dinosaurs roamed

He looks like he came from a dumpster bottom
He ought to teach a class in garbology
Doesn't own shampoo  but he don't care
He's got a family of bats living in his hair

'Cause he smells like a dead fish
Stuffed with rotten eggs
Wrapped in a dirty diaper
Rolled in a garbage can
Dipped in sour milk
With a skunk on top
 All shoved in an old sweaty gym sock

Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath
He doesn't even know just where the soap is at
He's not going to bathe, so do not even ask
Because Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath

His Momma says, "Bartleby, take a bath please!"
His sister says, "Bartleby, Dude you stink!"
His Father says, "Bartleby, you get into that bathroom!"
His teacher says, "You're stinking up the classroom!"

Well, you never ever wanna be dirty like Bartleby
'Cause if you were, you'd be stinky, he oughta be washed
Instead of looking like a pig sty
Flowers wilt when he walks by

He smells like a dead fish
Stuffed with rotten eggs
Wrapped in a dirty diaper
Rolled in a garbage can
Dipped in sour milk
With a skunk on top
 All shoved in an old sweaty gym sock

Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath
He doesn't even know just where the soap is at
He's not going to bathe, so do not even ask
Because Bartleby Finkleton will not take a bath

 

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