I Can't Play the Violin

Hello Everybody, Iím Vic.How do you do?
Iím very athletic and quite good-looking too
Iím smart and versatile. My list of virtues has no end.
But no matter how I practice I canít play the violin

I was on vacation in Vienna, Austria
One evening I decided to go hear an orchestra
The lights dimmed, and as the velvet curtain pulled away
A venerable man in a tuxedo took the stage

His nose was in the air and a fiddle Ďneath his chin
A virtuoso, he played with vigor and with vim
I decided right away that I would be like him
So I ran up on the stage with my brand new violin!

I was at a party that my friend Vanessa threw
She invited virtually everyone she knew
But I was vexed when I arrived to find it was a bore
Everyone was watching videos sitting on the floor.

Vince, Val, Vern, Vicky, and Veronica
Were staring at the TV with vapid vacant looks
I knew that I must get the party hopping there and then
So I jumped up on the table and played my violin

Now that my ditty is 4 verses along
Youíve heard various instruments playing in this song
But as we venture to the chorus once again
I bet youíre wishing now I didnít own this violin

So if I every find myself visiting your street
You may hear me practicing my lovely melody

Listen to clip: