Ivan Idea

To make a long story short so as not to be a bore
I was walking down the street the other day with a friend of mine you see
His name is Ivan, Ivan Idea to be exact
And Ivan, well, he has an imagination and a half

We had ice cream, one bowl each
Which we had every intention of eating at the very next opportunity
But for reasons Iíd rather not get into cause itís kind of a long story
We had thrown our ice cream spoons way up in a tree

And I said, "Ivan what are we gonna do now?"
"How are we ever gonna get our spoons down?"

"Iíve and idea", Ivan Idea said.
"Iíve and idea rolling Ďround my head.
We could tie ourselves to a great big balloon
And float up in the tree and get the spoons!"

"Ivan, you are truly and inspired individual
But your intentions, though interesting are a bit implausible
The only place balloons are found, anywhere for miles around
Is the balloon factory way across town"

"Ivan won't you please explain
How will we get somewhere so far away?"

"Iíve and idea", Ivan Idea said.
"Iíve and idea rolling Ďround my head.
We could get a rhinoceros and ride on his back you see
So we could make it across town to the balloon factory
So we could tie ourselves to a great big balloon
And float up in the tree and get the spoons!"

"Inasmuch as I agree with you Iíve been thinking about what you propose to do.
And I implore you have ignored an important point or two.
Specifically those on a rhinoís nose. I have to say my friend
That Iíve heard theyíre big and mean and pointed at one end"

"Ivan sounds awful dangerous.
How will we catch a rhinoceros?"

"Iíve and idea", Ivan Idea said.
"Iíve and idea rolling Ďround my head.
We could get a mouse to chew through the telephone lines
So we could take them down and make a big net out of the wire
So we could catch a rhinoceros and ride on his back you see
So we could make it across town to the balloon factory
So we could tie ourselves to a great big balloon
And float up in the tree and get the spoons!"

"Ivan I do not intend to be impolite
But something about your plan doesnít seem quite right.
Mice are not so tall you know, 2 or 3 inches at the most.
And telephone lines tend to be way on tops of poles."

"Ivan tell me after all
Where will we ever find a mouse so tall?"

"Iíve and idea", Ivan Idea said.
"Iíve and idea rolling Ďround my head.
We could get ourselves a gigantic hunk of cheese
And feed it to a mouse so heíd grow tall as a tree
So he could reach right up and chew through the telephone lines
So we could take them down and make a big net out of the wire
So we could catch a rhinoceros and ride on his back you see
So we could make it across town to the balloon factory
So we could tie ourselves to a great big balloon
And float up in the tree and get the spoons!"

"I donít mean to imply your intellect is in any way inadequate
But to find a piece of cheese so big indeed is infeasible I suspect
Where will we get a dairy product so immense
In a town like this where most of folks are lactose intolerant?"

"Ivan won't you please tell me
Where will we get a giant hunk of cheese?"

"Iíve and idea", Ivan Idea said.
"Iíve and idea rolling Ďround my head.
We could sell our ice cream to make a little cash
So we could buy a rocket ship and fly to the moon and back
So we could get ourselves a gigantic hunk of cheese
And feed it to a mouse so heíd grow tall as a tree
So he could reach right up and chew through the telephone lines
So we could take them down and make a big net out of the wire
So we could catch a rhinoceros and ride on his back you see
So we could make it across town to the balloon factory
So we could tie ourselves to a great big balloon
And float up in the tree and get the spoons!"

"To make a long story short, so as not to be a bore
I was just killing time the other day with a friend of mine
His name is Ivan, Ivan Idea to be exact
And Ivan sometimes gets in a little over his head

We weíre just hanging out floating through the town
Trying to figure out how to get our feet back on the ground
You see, for reasons that Iíd rather not get into
We were stuck up in the air tied to a great big balloon."

And I said, "Ivan I will never guess
How I let you talk me into this mess!"

 

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